Denise HarryCounselling in the Ashford and Staines area

Connection through Boundaries

During Covid I found myself with a lot of time on my hands as my clients started to take breaks from therapy. This was before the world of Zoom and online platforms became our reality. During this time, I, like a lot of people, hunkered down at home and found myself in continual contact with my family. This was both wonderful and intense. It made me stop and think about the need for us all to have and keep healthy boundaries. So, I began to search for professional development courses that addressed boundaries.

In my work I’ve found a lot of fear around setting boundaries as it’s thought that by doing so, we will alienate the people we love. But the reality is that when we learn how to value both ourselves and others and set boundaries that are in line with our values and beliefs, we actually come into closer connection with ourselves and others.

As humans it is hugely important for us to have meaningful connections. Connection is what supports us when life becomes overwhelming, gives us safety when the world around us feels dangerous and lets us know that we are not alone in the world. When we are doing this through healthy boundaries, we are treating both ourselves and others with love and respect.

Part of boundary work is exploring the way you see yourself and discovering what is important to you. It’s about understanding how emotions come to be and how to greet what comes with kindness. It’s about learning to give yourself permission to have and hold boundaries.

I love boundary work. I’ve seen how boundaries can transform how people show up in the world and increase their quality of life. Having good boundaries helps us to develop deep and resilient relationships with ourselves, the ones we love, and reality.

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